The Final Countdown

So...

2 more sleeps until I head up to Scotland to begin my next adventure. Though I don't start rehearsals for another 6 sleeps, it worked out so much cheaper to go up a few days earlier and spend some time exploring Scotland. I've booked into a hostel in Glasgow a few days before I start rehearsals on Monday, in Ayr. I've never been that far north before so I'm rather excited to go on my first proper solo adventure. As I'm in Glasgow for 3 1/2 days, I figured that I'd see if it would be worth looking into a day trip to Edinburgh as well to make the most of my time. To show how little I knew about Scotland, I thought Edinburgh was at least a couple of hours away from Glasgow. I found out it's less than an hour on the train so I'm definitely going! It's just a shame that the fringe festival isn't still on because that would have been amazing. 

**If anyone has any recommendations of fun things to do solo come rain or shine in Glasgow/Edinburgh please let me know**

This week, I also received my script for the Panto and it was very exciting. I've already begun shaping my characters and bringing them off the page, as well as learning as many of the lines as possible and getting to grips with the script and the story as well. Knowing that there's a lot of ad lib in the show, there's not a massive pressure to be word for word so as long as I am completely familiar with the script, in rehearsals it will develop organically. (Though knowing me, I will probably know a good majority of the lines by Monday). I read through the script quite a few times and played the songs when they appeared, and oh my goodness, I can feel how tiring this panto season is going to be.  But I'm super excited for this change of pace and hope it'll be something I really love. Playing 4 very different characters is going to be one hell of a challenge but it will make me a stronger actor (I hope). This experience is going to be a massive learning curve for me as I'll be experiencing so many new things. They will be skills I can carry forward with me in life, whether I decide touring pantomime is the life for me or not. 

The biggest challenge I have to face though, even before I leave? PACKING. Where do you even begin packing for 3 1/2 months, knowing it's coming into winter so I'll need more layers, but it's not cold enough yet to be wearing them so a lot of your case is a bunch of 'just incases'. It's been very stressful trying to get my case to a weight that won't break my arm. I was planning on taking a cabin sized bag. HA. I realised very quickly that my coat and hoodie filled up 70% of that case so what am I supposed to do? I wish I could say that if it wasn't coming into winter it wouldn't be a problem, but this weather in the U.K. is so unpredictable that it's safer to pack those things anyway. 

I've decided. I hate packing. 

I'll attack the case one more time and whatever happens in the third time I sort it, is what stays. I'm just gonna have to pretend it's super light and accessible. Hey, I'll practice the whole 'acting' thing. 

There's always gonna be last minute stress, I just have to learn to deal with it. Oh, I have no bank card after the end of September? Cool. I'll figure it out. That isn't stressful at all. Here's hoping that Mr. Postman can save the day and bring it this week! Putting way too much faith into Royal Mail but I have to. It hurts. 

Anyway, the next few months are going to be an amazing adventure... maybe because I'll have no way for paying for things unless I find a bank to get cash out, but it's all part of life. I should have been more prepared but there's not a lot I can do about it now other than hope for the best. 'I'll figure it out' is going to be the saying of the tour. Who needs 'what goes on tour, stays on tour', something as cool as that, when you can just say... I'll figure it out. 

"I'm a BAGEL, on a plate full of Onion Rolls."

I've decided to do something a little different for this blog post...

For anyone who knows me, they know that I see a lot of theatre, mainly musical theatre, but I do go and see plays as often as I can, too. After every show, people always ask me, "Was it good?" and "Did you enjoy?", and the answer is always "DUH!"... and then I proceed to tell them every fantastic thing about it, giving them chapter and verse of why they need to see it too or why I need to see it again. After all, you can't just see a show once, can you?

Anyway, this month, I went to see Funny Girl for a second time, this time, with the one and only Sheridan Smith. I went to see Funny Girl last year, but we saw Sheridan's understudy Natasha Barnes. I mean, obviously she was fantastic, her name says it all, really. Seriously though, she was amazing, she's now the lead for the second half of the tour, I believe! Even though we had booked expecting Sheridan Smith, as soon as the show began, all our disappointment flew out the window. Barnes gave a phenomenal performance and I was completely blown away. Never under-estimate the understudy, because DAMN. They are talented! Of course they are! They wouldn't give just anyone that role.

However, since seeing Sheridan in Legally Blonde a few years before, I was dying to see her in Funny Girl because I think she's just wonderful... I mean, seriously, is there anything that she can't do? I've been a fan of her since her role in Gavin and Stacey, and she's always been one of my favourite actresses. So let's just say I was a tad excited to finally see her in the Wales Millennium Centre... so much so, that I started talking with a complete stranger in our row about how amazing Sheridan was and how she wouldn't be disappointed by the show, and to be prepared to be blown away. Then we started chatting about musicals in general and all the one's we had seen, and it was too much for my tiny little mind. I was going to explode. So I rambled on until the lights went down, and then I almost cried at the overture. Then I did. I was an emotional mess. Musicals just have this way of getting you to feel everything down to your very core. I cried a lot during the show, the cast was flawless, the songs were flawless, the dances were flawless. My face at the end... not so flawless. That finale had me in BITS. I was sobbing from the last song, and all the way through the bows, and even when the lights came up. My new friend I made before the show started? The stranger? Laughing at me with my mother. But I didn't care. My heart was happy and broken at the same time. Being truly moved by a show like that, is something that I will never tire of. Oh, to live and breathe theatre is one hell of an adventure. An emotional adventure.

And for people who tell me that they don't like theatre, I shall refer you to one of musical theatre's greatest lessons from Fanny Brice - "I'm a bagel, on a plate full of onion rolls." The point is that (loosely quoting) if all you ever had for breakfast was onion rolls, then in walks a bagel... you'd be like 'Err, what is that?!'... Until you TRIED it. And that's what people need to do. Give theatre and the arts a chance. There's so much you can learn about yourself, and the world through the arts. Truly, you're missing out if you just eat onion rolls for the rest of your life. Bagels are delicious.

The Best Week EVER!

I don't even know where to begin. I've cried so many happy tears this week, I just can't believe it.

It started off with an audition at Bluestone on Monday (such an incredibly beautiful place), which was one of the best audition experiences ever, although I didn't get the job, I had such a great day and nothing was bringing me down from the mood I was in following it.

Tuesday, I got to catch up with one of my besties and we took a stroll through the woods, and it was so lovely. I didn't even care about the amount of fly bites I was getting.

Wednesday, I spent the day with my Mam and my niece. Wednesday's are always fun with those two. They make my heart smile. Especially when my three year old niece tells me how much she loves me and missed me. Melts my heart every time.

Thursday, I got a call from M&M Theatrical Productions and they said they wanted to cast me in their Panto season touring around the UK and Ireland from September-February.

WAIT... WHAT

Yep. I was unpacking at the time when I saw this number come up on my phone and I thought... Here we go... NO MORE PPI. But then I looked at the location of the call, and I recognised it as M&M's base in Scotland. I answered the phone, a bit wary, just in case they were going to crush my dreams, you know, every actors fear. Then he told me how impressed they were by my audition and that they had decided to cast me in their production of 'Jack and the Beanstalk'. Tears were forming in my eyes at this point and all I could say down the phone was THANK YOU SO MUCH. As well as confirming that I would be happy to drive a van. That's going to be a fun learning experience! He wanted me to confirm I was still interested in the position by replying to the email by the end of Friday. So there I was, naturally, refreshing my emails until it came through and then I replied straight away. SEND ME THAT CONTRACT! I was so happy, I was crying into my sock drawer. (I was still pretending to unpack). I then called my mother, and I just couldn't hold my happy tears any longer, I could barely speak to tell her what just happened. Your baby girl has got her first professional acting job! GO ME. This is the job that came from my first professional audition, so that makes me incredibly happy too.

So, I'm on such a high that I told myself that I don't need to worry about tomorrow's results because, well, I GOT A JOB. I was still a bit nervous for results, because that's just how it is. I can't turn off that dreaded 'results day' mentality. However, no matter what the result, what I've learnt is more important and how I will go forward with my life, and doing it with the right attitude, is what matters.

Friday. Results Day. 10:59, I load up MYTSD. 11:00. LOG IN.

Progression Letter.

Bachelor of Arts with Honours

Acting 

Upper Second Class (2:1) 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

*Cue more tears.

I'm so happy, I can barely breathe at this point. Then I decide to look at the module breakdown to see what I got in each of the modules to make me average out at this wonderful 2:1.

Module Breakdown. Yep, Yep, Yep, WHAT. Now I wasn't expecting that.

Site Specific Theatre. 70. A first. An actual first. Now, to a lot of people, this won't seem like a big deal, but I know someone who knows how much this means to me. Mr. Dave Ainsworth. Now, I don't know if you'll remember this conversation Dave, but it is all I've thought about. We had that meeting at the beginning of third year and we talked about how you thought after first year, I'd be one of those students who just muddles through and passes. However, in second year, I surprised you, by averaging out 2:1's and I begun working my butt off.

You then said to me,

"I would really love to see you get a 70 in Third Year, I think you can do it." 

Hey Dave. I did it.

Thank you for believing in me, and pushing me to achieve this degree. You have been such a massive part of the reason why I've pushed myself so hard. I'm so grateful.

So, to finish this post. I will end on another inspirational quote that I found on Pinterest, which completely resonates truth and relevance to what this week has shown me.

"Good things come to those who wait, but great things come to those who do."

Waiting, waiting and more waiting!

Today's post is about how much I'm learning to be patient.

I've had three auditions in 11 days, and waiting to hear from them has been an experience. Every time the phone rings, I jump up to answer it, only to hear... "Have you been mis-sold PPI? If so, we can help you!" BLAH BLAH BLAH. Hang up.

Oh, maybe they've emailed I think... so I am now one of those people who check my email every time I'm connected to the internet. My record is three times in a minute. I also now regularly check my junk mail, something which I have never done. Honestly, some of the things that come up in that folder are just shocking, I sure hope no job offers ever end up there because it's a scary place.

I've decided that I need to go on a cleanse. A checking my email kinda cleanse. Maybe just once in the morning and once in the evening. Yeah, we'll see how that works out for me. Since writing this blog post, I've checked it five times.

Someone help me. I have no self-control.

At times like this, I find myself looking on Pinterest at the 'Inspirational Quotes' board and I came across this beauty of a quote.

"Patience is not about waiting, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting."

And then I realised, I've been going about this all the wrong way. Instead of just waiting, then complaining about waiting... I need to be productive with my time and not put all my eggs in one basket. If I just sit back and wait to hear off these three jobs, and nothing comes of it... I could have just completely wasted time and missed so many opportunities during that time. Even though it's only been just over a week since my first audition, there are a lot of things that could have passed me by. Obviously I've still been seeking out work, and applying for other things, but many times I've thought 'Oh I better not apply for that, just in case I get that first job.' But hey, the worst that could happen is that I'm going to have to choose between jobs and that's not all bad, you know, being in demand.

Not that that's likely in this industry... but I can always dream.

So, I think the point of this post was to give myself a kick up the butt to not dwell on things. I need to be productive, even if I am waiting for a response from a job. I can't just sit back and let good things pass me by. These blog posts are how I can sort of make sense of things in my head, so I'm sorry if this isn't interesting to read, but this blog is about me trying to find my place in this world. Although, If I can interest people in what I write, that's a plus I guess.

Anyway, if you're still reading after these ramblings... Hi. Thank you for bearing with me. Join me for my next blog post where I'll hopefully have a job offer or at least a post about dealing with rejection. (Already looking on Pinterest boards for 'Inspirational Quotes' to help me with that one, because it will happen at some point. Ah, the life of an actor.)

Maybe I'll just check my email one more time...

My First Professional Audition Experience!

"The only failure is not to try."

A quote that I will without a doubt live by, for the rest of my life. Thanks, Mr. Clooney. 

7:20am Mega Bus from Cardiff to London. Arrive approx. 11am. Find audition location to suss it out. Go to Primark (I mean, it was only a short walk...). Have lunch. Enter audition location. Poop my pants. Immediately start looking around at my 'competition', turns out they were all lovely people. Enter the audition leader, who gives us a form to fill out with our details and a double sided A4 piece of paper which had 4 speeches on each side. "Pick a speech from each side, you have half an hour before we take you all to the space." Picked two contrasting pieces. Tried to learn them. Failed. But hey, I was so familiar with them by the end of that half an hour, that I had figured out everything I wanted to do on each line. It was Panto style so I had to make sure that I made a fool out of myself, the bigger the better, 'ey?! 

The pieces I chose were; Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, and Mrs Trott from Jack and the Beanstalk. 

Yep, I was required to do a Southern American accent and I didn't totally screw it up. Even if it did feel more General American (whatever that means). Go me. *Adds to CV. For Mrs Trott, it said 'colloquial accent an advantage'. I had absolutely no idea what that meant. So after muttering in a Yorkshire accent for a bit (and failing miserably), my friend turned to me and said 'Just do your Welsh accent!'. So I did. Turns out, in a room full of people who aren't Welsh, they really love the Welsh accent, especially because they didn't think it was my real accent! I hadn't really spoken to many people before I got up to do the speeches, and I did the Dorothy one first, so I think it was an interesting surprise. Banter.

So, following the speeches, I had to compose myself to sing a song as well! I decided to sing Mother Knows Best from Tangled. I managed to hold myself together, and it went rather well. I just decided to go big or go home and truly embrace the character. I felt that with both speeches and the song, they were all very different characters from each other so my choices were well thought out.

This audition was an interesting experience as we were all in the same room watching everyone's auditions. We got to see many different interpretations of the same character, and it was fun seeing what else people brought to the roles. Even though a lot of people chose the same speeches, they all brought something different to it. Most of the time. 

So, once everyone had got up to do their speeches and songs, the audition leader then proceeded to read out a list of names who they wanted to stay behind for a one-to-one interview and a general chat about what their company is about. 

They actually said my name.

It was the weirdest feeling ever. But I liked it. 

My interview was so relaxed and friendly, and the woman who interviewed me is also a graduate of the BA Acting course at UWTSD in Carmarthen, the first graduating year actually! Small world! 

Nothing is guaranteed with this job, but it's a very exciting prospect. They are beginning their casting process and I'm one of the people they're actually considering. That's pretty cool. 

I'm looking forward to seeing what this world has to offer for me. 

I think I'm going to be alright. 

"I'm Natasha, an actor. Check out my website!"

I have a website!

To give this professional acting thing a go, I've decided that it would be a good idea to have a website where I can showcase some of my work and some information about myself for potential employers. This has been an interesting experience creating this website, I found it a challenge but I enjoyed learning how to build my own website. I'm quite proud of the end result, though I do still have quite a bit to edit/add to it. However, I have got most of the basics on there to allow any potential employers to get a flavour of what experience I've had and what I'm interested in.

The main thing that I'm missing on there is my professional show reel. However, I do have a link to my short film and some filming of my stage combat rehearsals. By the end of June, I want to have filmed some monologues, and edit a decent show reel together. Also, my voice reel is just one clip, so I would like to expand this.

natashahickman.webs.com

   

 natashahickman.webs.com

Eventually, I would like to purchase my domain name so it's .com and not .webs.com, but I wanted to see how this website went first. Having .com would definitely look more professional so if this website becomes more used, this is something that I will have to do.

If you've got some time, I'd really appreciate it if you could check out my website and see if there's anything that I can do to improve it. Thank you!

"In the end, we only regret the chances that we didn't take."

I have had two audition invites in the past couple of days. One in London, and the other in Wolverhampton. They are both very exciting opportunities, and I'm so happy that I've been asked to audition.

The first one I received was the London audition, and I was over the moon because it was the first one I put myself forward for and they actually wanted to meet me. I didn't have to think twice about going, I got on Megabus and booked my ticket straight away. I love London, and I'm on familiar territory when I'm there, so I felt completely comfortable just going for it. (Although, I did ask a lot of my actor friends to send off applications too, because hey, a little company wouldn't be a bad thing.) Anyway, I'm very excited about this audition as it's something I've not really thought about doing until I read the description of it. I found myself grinning, thinking to myself, 'HELL YEAH'.

The next one, however, I found a little more daunting. I have never been to Wolverhampton before, everything felt completely alien and after looking at the 5hr 22 minute one-way train journey and £30-£40 return ticket, I started to doubt myself and why I would even bother going that far for an audition that may not even last more than two hours. But then I thought, "Hey. Why don't you try something that puts you out of your comfort zone? Take a risk?", the thing that I've been saying is the biggest thing I've learnt from my time at UWTSD. Why not put it into practice in the real world, and not just with my craft? It's time to grab life by the horns, and take control of my own future. Who knows? This could be the job I get! How will I know, if I don't even try? The train tickets are booked.

So, I am going to go to these auditions and try my absolute hardest and give it all I have. That's all I can do. No matter what happens with these auditions though, the point is, as the title of this post says, "In the end, we only regret the chances that we didn't take." Everything in life, I believe, is a learning experience, and there will be, without a doubt, things I can take away from both of these experiences.

But most importantly, I will remember;

If it's meant to be, it will be. 

...and so the adventure begins!

So. I've just completed my final year at University. Graduation is looming. I'm terrified. Though I'm mostly excited. As part of my coping process with everything changing in my life, I have decided to start a blog to document the joys of beginning a career as a self-employed professional actor.

Before I do that, I just want to reflect on what an amazing experience my university life has given me. Choosing to study at The University of Wales Trinity St David, was probably the best decision I've ever made. As cliché as this sounds, I truly did 'find myself' through this course, BA Acting. It has without a doubt solidified how much I want to go into the field of Acting. I have had so much experience over my three years with so many different types of acting, from Main House Theatre, to Site Specific Theatre, to Touring Theatre, to Absurd Theatre and Musical Performance, just to name a few. The biggest thing I've learnt from my time at University was the sense of fearlessness. I've learnt to let go and trust my instincts, allow myself to be creatively free and be willing to try new things and throw myself in the deep end, pushing myself physically, mentally and creatively.

I truly feel that this course has prepared me for what the real world will be like, and it's given me the confidence I need to find my place within this industry. It has not only given me the skills in performing, it has given me the skills to create content, direct plays, and even work behind the scenes, getting involved with numerous 'Get-In's' and 'Get Out's'. 

If there's one thing that Trinity has taught me the most, is that team work makes the dream work. I have felt like I belong here, and throughout my education I've not felt that way, until I came to Carmarthen. Trinity has become my second home, and I'm absolutely heartbroken to be leaving. I have made friends for life, in both the students and the staff. I will take them with me wherever I go. And I know, no matter how long it will be, Trinity will always be there to welcome me home. Yes, much like Hogwarts. I mean, it does kind of look like Hogwarts in places, right?!

Anyway, Trinity. All I have to say is, thank you.